It’s such an exciting time of year for those of you who have recently become engaged and as Amy pointed out in Monday’s “10 Next Steps in Wedding Planning”, your first priority should be to enjoy the hype, the excitement, the parties and the love and support you are undoubtably receiving from family and friends at this time. You are probably being inundated with questions already about any plans you have made so far (it’s the excitement!) and hopefully, they haven’t sent your head into overdrive! It’s best to buy yourself time, so laugh them off and point out that you are too busy enjoying your new rock to even think about wedding planning!

Image; O’Malley Photographers

Today’s post is for when the sparkle settles a bit, after the engagement parties and celebrations have started to ease off but before you throw yourself into wedding planning full time. It’s really an extension of the second point Amy made yesterday – talking to your fiance about what sort of wedding you would both like to have, i.e. making important wedding planning decisions together. Many girls already have an idea of what they would like, and many don’t.. but for the guys – the majority haven’t even considered the type of party they would like to throw. So often you hear them say “ah whatever she wants is fine with me..” and while we can see some girls jumping for joy at the sound of this, for the rest of you, it will be disheartening to say the least! Thing is, many guys really do want to be involved in the planning process, and you’ll just have to forgive them for having never given a thought to the type of wedding they wanted before becoming engaged. So, it’s good to get them thinking, the two of you talking, communicating early on and most importantly, both of you on the same page.

Organise a night that you are both free, go out for dinner, snuggle up by the fire at home, crack open a bottle of wine, some treats.. popcorn…whatever you two do best together and have a wedding topic list ready to chat over! Not sure what to put on the list? That’s ok – get out your paper and pen!

Wedding Budget

We will be posting a separate article on this in the coming days- very often the budget is the deciding factor when making most of your wedding planning decisions. At this point though, it’s worth having a general chat about the wedding budget to figure out if there is a sum of money that you are both comfortable spending. Some couples see it as a once in a lifetime event and are happy to save as hard as they can to have a big dream wedding, they don’t see the value in spending beyond a certain figure or would rather spend their money on buying or improving a house etc. Find a balance between the two of you, despite what you think your end budget will be. Do either of you think that family members will want to contribute to the wedding? Are you happy for them to do so? Are you happy to ask family member to contribute if they don’t offer?

Image; Patrick Moyer Photography

Wedding Size

Despite not knowing your wedding budget, it’s a good idea to discuss the size wedding you would both like. Are you thinking small, intimate, family and close friends only or have you been dreaming of a big garden party with everyone you know all your life? What sort of initial reaction do you get from your other half? Be considerate of the other person here if you can. Maybe one of you is a little shy and would be more comfortable with those they know and love around them as opposed to having to shake hands and thank people they have never met for coming. IF you find yourselves at opposite ends of the scale, it’s good to keep talking and find a number that you can both compromise on.

Wedding Ceremony

Are either of you religious? Is it important to either of you to be married in a church? Would either of you be happier being married in a civil service? What about a humanist ceremony or a spiritual service after a civil wedding in a registrars office? Try not to let parents rule this one. I have met so many couples that really don’t want to be married in a church but were under so much pressure from parents to do so that they caved – the only people that regretted it was themselves. Likewise, I know a guy that was married in a civil service because his wife wasn’t religious. He said that to him, it didn’t feel like really being married because it wasn’t what he had in mind and is still sorry that he wasn’t more honest about it from the beginning. My point is, everyone is different, everyone has different beliefs and values so it’s important not to assume anything and speak honestly.

Wedding Location

Would either of you rather elope than get married with a big wedding at home? Would you consider a destination wedding or is it really important for you to get married at home in your locality? Like many deciding factors, your location might be linked to the budget you end up having to plan with.

Image via Glamour

Wedding Date

What time of year do you both like? Summer? Winter? Things to think of are obviously weather conditions, not that they can be guaranteed anywhere in the world and also budget as generally speaking a summer wedding in any venue, in any country will cost more than a winter wedding in the same location.

Wedding Style

It’s a good idea for both of you to write down your vision for your wedding day on flash cards and then swap. IS one of you thinking festival wedding with silent disco while the other is dreaming of a ballroom complete with silverware and fine linen? This is such a fun part, listen to each other’s ideas, write down five things each, feelings or moods, a certain atmosphere that you want to create on your wedding day and start playing around with them until you find a fair playing field.

Above all else, this chat together should be heaps of fun, very high level and just an opportunity to get to know what is important to the other person. Remember that it’s always possible to compromise and it should bring you closer together than ever. Try not to take anything to heart but be honest if there is something that is really, truly important to you and listen to your other half when they share their feelings similarly! Let us know how it goes!!

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