Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Unfortunately, in George R.R. Martin's world, your wedding day should be the bloodbath-iest of your life.

Word to the wise: when selecting an event planner, maybe don't even interview the A Song Of Ice & Fire author. After the Red and Purple Weddings, we think his vision just isn't going to match up with yours.

Not yet convinced? Then watch above to see the master try really hard to sell a happy couple on pigeon pie and a murder band.