Valentina & Daniel's trilingual Italy and Belgium celebration of love and pasta

Valentina & Daniel's trilingual Italy and Belgium celebration of love and pasta

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The Offbeat Bride: Valentina, Researcher (and Offbeat Bride member)

Her offbeat partner: Daniel, anti-corruption hero

Date and location of wedding: Saint-Gilles City Hall and Chalet Robinson, Brussels, Belgium and Dogana Veneta, Lazise (VR), Italy - August 25, 2014

Our offbeat wedding at a glance: Just for context, a "normal" Italian wedding in my region would entail a long dress, a long religious ceremony followed by a very long lunch (6+ hours) which MUST include Jordan almonds. Needless to say, we had a short dress, two short ceremonies in two different countries with very little religion, a light dinner, and no Jordan almonds. Oh, and our witnesses were officially known as "das Rudel" (the pack).

On Monday we got legally married in Brussels, where we live, in a quick no-fuss ceremony at the Saint-Gilles City Hall (which happens to be a pretty snazzy art deco building), with only our closest family and friends in attendance. My mother-in-law made my bouquet with flowers from her garden, I wore a simple vintage dress and then we had a slow-food lunch in a restaurant in the middle of our favourite park. It was quite rainy and low-key - very Brussels-like.

A 14-hour drive to Italy came next, an aperitivo, a dinner, a family sightseeing trip, two gelatos, one cappuccino, and a pizza later, and we were ready to roll.

On Friday, we spent the morning setting up our location: assembling the chuppah, decorating the tables with potted plants and puzzle pieces, setting up our map-seating chart, and hanging ribbons everywhere. We couldn't have done it without our friends. Doing my own hair and makeup felt like the best fit for me - it saved us a bunch of money and I could check what products I wore (i.e. green and cruelty-free). My shoes were probably my favourite part of my outfit. I had to work hard to find t-bar rainbow striped heels!

After the ceremony we had drinks, a dinner featuring pasta (of course) and zucchini risotto (the dish we had on our first date). And then the party started!

Tell us about the ceremony:
The ceremony was simple but completely tailored to us: we had a reading in German (a poem by Erich Fried), one in Italian (an excerpt from"So Long and Thanks for All the Fish") and one in English ("Union," by Robert Fulghum). Our officiant was our oldest common friend. We kept some Jewish elements ( chuppah, breaking of the glass, exchanging of rings, yichud), we had everyone tie the knot with us (our hands were tied together while our "wedding pack" tied ribbons to the chuppah).

I also snuck in some Moomins: Snorkmaiden and Moomintroll were my hairpins and a quote by Tove Jansson (whose 100th years was celebrated this year) was simply perfect and went on the cover of our wedding programmes:

I love borders. August is the border between summer and autumn; it is the most beautiful month I know. Twilight is the border between day and night, and the shore is the border between sea and land. The border is longing: when both have fallen in love but still haven't said anything. The border is to be on the way. It is the way that is the most important thing.

Our biggest challenge:
Our biggest challenge was languages. While all guests spoke more than one, there was no language shared by all people present. We addressed this by trying to make sure everyone felt included: my father got to be one of the few people who understood our French ceremony in Brussels. The other parents understood the English ceremony in Italy. We somehow managed to have readings, invites, programmes, menus, and Minglo cards in three languages. Speeches and announcements were mostly done just in two languages (either Italian and German or Italian and English).

My funniest moment:
The dancing was pretty crazy. But I would say it was the surprise live performance that our friends put together to get the party started was the funniest. There was aDirty Dancing re-enactment and an amazingly weird '80s freestyle German rap performance with wigs, neon ski jackets, short shorts, and a boom-box.

My favorite moment:
Seeing Daniel tear up during his vows was incredibly emotional. And making a spontaneous decision to run away after the ceremony to enjoy our privacy was just so perfect. Toasts were also incredibly good and I was particularly touched by my (super introverted) dad's short and sweet speech. My father-in-law also gave a great bilingual speech together with my grandma - I was super impressed.

Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?

Enough talk - show me the wedding porn!

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