I've gone from being a Broke Ass Bride last year to a Broke Ass bridesmaid this year, and I'm having a hard time with the transition. I've never been in a wedding before,so I have nothing to compare it to really, except for my own wedding. I had to beg, borrow and steal to pull off my wedding, and we managed to do it, with an open bar, for $16,000. We saved for 18 months, I worked for my florist to bring down the cost of our flowers, I worked as a prep cook at our venue, and I still do tech support for the salon that did our hair and makeup. I got my wedding dress from a non-profit that donates dresses to military brides whose husbands have been deployed to the Middle East. Our photographer was an ex-coworker of mine from Apple. I worked every angle. It was really important to us to have a very intimate, Thanksgiving-esque wedding. We wanted to say thank you to everyone for being there during the most difficult times in our lives during the past few years and for showing us unconditional love. All of our guests still talk about how much they loved their wedding. This Bride is my sister-in law, and she has asked me to be her Matron of Honor. Her parents based her wedding budget on how much my husband and I spent on ours, but they keep focusing on how they can do everything for "cheap." And they are determined that she doesn't spend a dime of her own money. The budget is supposedly $15,000, but then a week later she drops $10,000 on her venue and $1,200 on a dress. She keeps pleading poverty, but she's gone on three vacations since she got engaged. She bought a house, which closed the same day as one of her three bridal showers, so they had to move the shower date at the last minute. When her cousin's bridal shower happened, her mother wrote my Sister-in Law's name on the cake and called it a "shared" shower. This upset some people, who are now refusing to go to her re-scheduled shower. She is having her and her bridemaids' hair and makeup done at a beauty school, but won't pay for it, even though it's only $35 each. They are each spending over $1000 to come to this wedding. I almost lost it at that point! She's having 200 guests because they couldn't decide how to cut the list. They're not having a DJ because they don't want to pay for it. Her mother is making all the centerpieces and desserts. I have tried over and over to give her advice about saving money, but it's all been ignored. Am I being a bridesmaidzilla? Is this just part of the gig? Do you have any advice? I don't know how to handle this, and I'm really drowning here!

Long response, short? Yes, this is part of the gig. You have given her all the advice you could to help them save money but still have as great a wedding as you did, they have ignored it and managed to irritate friends and family in the process. That is all you can do, and there are two pieces of good news:

1. None of what happens surrounding the wedding is your fault or responsibility.

2. Hey, you are actually helping, if you think about it, by agreeing to pay for your own hair and makeup!

If it's any consolation, I too, would have planned it differently, but it's not my wedding. It's not your wedding, either. And I get it, it's very frustrating to watch what you feel is an impending train wreck and not be alarmed. But this is the wedding she wants. Or, at the very least, it's the wedding she is agreeing to have, which is basically the same thing. The responsibility is all hers, as are the consequences. End story.

If you want to help from here on out, forget the advice and simply ask if there is anything that they need help with and do that. If you're truly mentally done, show up whenever you're asked to, put on the dress, try and force a smile and get through the day. There are really no other options. Wedding planning eventually ends, but family relationships require longer term thinking. Keep that in mind.

Have you guys faced any similar issues? Any advice to proffer? Share in the comments! And if you would like find out more about me and my part of Wedding World, go to www.silvercharmevents.com.

See you at the end of the aisle,