For those who've been following my adventures on the Lovesick Expo tour this winter, you've probably been like "WTF is up with all those sequined dresses?!" Well, I will tell you what's up with them: J. Von Stratton is up with them, that's what. She's the Seattle-based costume designer and seamstress who has dressed drag legends like Jinkx Monsoon and Bendela Creme, as well as hundreds of hot burlesque dancers all over the country.

Now I'm stoked to announced that J. Von Stratton has a line of wedding dresses, perfectly combining the show queen aesthetics (sequins! mermaid sillouettes! heart-shaped cut-outs!) with wedding-ready realness. Because, I mean, some of us want to get married in floor-length gold sequined dresses, but others of us might want to go a little bit more understated. (Like, you know, white sequins.)

Let's put down our boas for a minute and take a peek at the new line, shall we? All of these are customizable and made to order:

This is the Ariel dress. It's totally not named after me, but I have been known to wear a very similar model.

Ooh, the Doris dress. Loving that fit-and-flare retro-inspired shape, and lookit the little bolero you can get with it:

THEN THERE IS THIS MASTERPIECE:

Unsurprisingly, this one is called The Tiffany ... breakfast, anyone? How are you freaking out over that shoulder detail? The lining can be done in any color you want... this teal is lovely, but imagine a TARDIS blue? Or a bright red? Or a rainbow? Or, or, or!

J. Von's got less formal stuff too, like the Sunny Sunday Dress, which I could see as being perfect for bridesmaids or a courthouse elopement. Moral of the story? Let's all play dress up in J. Von Stratton sequined dresses and make out!